I was sitting with a client as she reflected upon the feedback she just received. “What hurts is that they are attributing motive to your behavior,” I said. “It’s done frequently in work (and life) relationships.” The antidote to this common problem is not to hope or wish others wouldn’t do it. The way for co-workers to know our motives is to know us.
To the extent that we hide who we are from some (or most) people, we create incongruity. When we create incongruity, others make up stories, in their minds or out loud, about who we are.
I’ve always loved Oscar Wilde’s famous line: “Be yourself. Everyone else is taken.” If only it were so simple to heed that advice and move through work and life with the confidence to embody those two words, “be yourself.” It’s not enough to have self-awareness. It’s not enough to know your values or even to have a clear purpose in life. Being who you are is active. It’s the work of self-actualization, the work of coming home to comfort in oneself.
In 2025, many people left roles and careers that no longer served them, some by choice and some not. In my experience as a coach, many people transformed behaviors that were not aligned with their true nature, intent, and values. If you are seeking change or growth in your career or life, perhaps 2026 could be the Year of Being Who You Are. You might be surprised at what happens next.
