Much of my time is spent gathering and delivering 360-degree feedback to accomplished leaders. Receiving feedback requires as much skill as delivering it does. It doesn’t matter how tough-minded you are, or how many times you have received feedback surveys; it’s hard to hear or read critical comments about your behavior.
Feedback is offered; it’s up to you to accept it. It’s up to you to decide what you are willing to change to accommodate others’ wishes and perspectives. You must, at a minimum, consider it. Here is some advice for doing that, based on my experience. These tips apply whether you receive a formal 360-degree feedback assessment, an annual performance review, or a simple suggestion from a colleague.
Breathe. That’s the first step. Breathing is essential for everything that follows because it locates you in your body, present.
Check your listening “filters and focus.” Are you listening to understand or respond? Suspend judgment to receive feedback openly and constructively. Shift your focus from internal – on you, how you are feeling, and what you are thinking – to external – and listen for what the other person is trying to convey.
Realize that people are rarely objective. They see the world – and you – through their own biases. Sometimes they see your positive intent even when they observe something unhelpful, while still desiring change. Other times, they assume misinformed motives when offering feedback, even if their own intentions are positive. Assume positive intent as you listen, then seek the facts that led to their conclusions. Ask, “What have you (seen, heard, or experienced) that makes you conclude _____?”
Avoid defending yourself. In my experience, people hesitate to give feedback because it’s frequently met with defensiveness. Often, the best response is “Thank you.” Yet sometimes there are valid explanations that can add context and clarity. Actively aligning with (not necessarily agreeing with) the other person’s positive intent or point of view can reduce the air of defensiveness. “I can see you are trying to be helpful. May I ask ___? “I can see that you believe this is unproductive. May I respond?”
Seek feedback even before it’s offered. Take Marshall Goldsmith’s sage advice and ask future-focused questions such as: “What suggestions do you have that would make me a more effective leader?” These types of look-forward questions are so much more helpful than criticisms of past actions.
If you are involved in a formal 360-degree feedback process, I offer the following specific tips.
Don’t ruminate on an outlier or two. When I gather interview-based feedback, I relay everything. I don’t edit or filter. In online processes, respondents often provide unedited, verbatim feedback. Some items may be irrelevant in the big picture, and a trusted coach or mentor can help you sort through those.
Engage others to participate in your development. I highly recommend that leaders communicate back to those who gave feedback, sharing their insights, current focus areas, and any support they require from their colleagues. This contradicts the notion of keeping a feedback process secret. There’s research, thanks again to Marshall Goldsmith, that points to better results when you engage others. I outline a simple process for doing so here.
Feedback reflects how your leadership presence and brand are perceived by those around you. It’s a critical component of personal development because you simply can’t fully see yourself as others see you. If you wish to grow, you must at least consider it.
Photo above: “San Carpoforo” by Andrea Chilcote
