Two of my recent articles have struck a chord with readers, and for the same reason. “Surrender,” from Three Friends for the Journey, and “Control or Peace” both revisit a concept called the Circle of Influence. The idea is simple: we worry every day about things we can’t change. We can save our energy for the things we can influence, or literally control, in our lives.
This past Sunday, I had an experience that tested my philosophy.
I’ve lived by the ocean for six years, and only in the last six months have I found a way to enjoy the water that suits my comfort and fitness level. I truly enjoyed it! I’ve reconnected with a former pastime, swimming, both in a local pool and in nearby Morro Bay, a shallow, protected estuary on the central California coast. The bay’s water averages 58°, so it won’t surprise you that I now own and wear a wetsuit. I’ve grown increasingly comfortable with swimming workouts in the bay, especially after visiting a fabulous mobile sauna that parks there on weekends.
At the sauna, I made a new friend, Anna, who shares my love of the sea. We enjoy swimming and working out together in the bay.
Sunday was one of those gorgeous, sunny October mornings. Anna and I had just entered the water to swim and work out. I was a bit farther out than Anna, facing her and the shore. We were mid-conversation when I let out a scream.
“I’ve been bitten,” I yelled. “Badly.”
In that split second, I thought, “Fish?” “Big fish?” “Shark?” Then we both turned and saw the head of a large animal surface, then dive again in seconds.
A sea lion or, more likely, a sea otter – I’m not sure which – bit me.
Anna called for me to swim toward her. I was disoriented and later realized I was in shock. Once I reached her, she helped me peel off my wetsuit to reveal bloody puncture wounds on my elbow.
An afternoon at Urgent Care got me bandaged up and revealed that, thankfully, I had no fractures or bone chips. The pain would dissipate; the wounds would heal.
But as I write this, three days later, I haven’t summoned the peaceful surrender I have been writing about, the state available to us when accidents happen, and choices become more about our attitude than our intent. My dominant arm is injured, so many mundane things are hard to navigate. Even showering is a challenge, because I can’t get the wound wet. That also eliminates my pool time, something I have come to rely on for recreation and mind/body fitness. Sleeping is uncomfortable, so I have less energy to go around. I have had to make some hard choices about priorities.
I know, intellectually, that healing must take its course. I know that the things I “need” to do will get done, and schedules will work themselves out. I know all of this. So why write about it today?
Because what’s on my mind is that we can always shift our perspective. And sometimes it’s hard. Sometimes we need to feel, to really acknowledge, the frustration, the anxiety, even the anger, before we can shift to accepting circumstances we can neither change nor influence. That’s the process. That’s the journey.
I’m glad I have three friends with me. Intentionality: to help me eventually return to the water. Perspective: to remind me that this could have been worse. And surrender: to deliver the peace that comes when we name our fear and then say, “I’ll be okay.”
I’m moving toward okay. Are you?
